July 19, 2006
I know I wronged them. Just after my post I wanted to leave house immediately because it was already 1.10pm. But my dad happened to wake up and offered to send me to school and at the same time to go lunch by himself.
Almost everyday he offers to pick up my mum from work even though he just came back from work/running and is tired, hungry or feeling sticky or stuff.
On the car he was listening to classical and it's not so bad after all. There's this Korean violinist or whatever named Sarah and her playing just awed me, so did the piece aired on radio before hers.
I wonder. Maybe the problem just lies with me. I take everything for granted. I'm spoilt. I'm way too pampered. I love attention. Of course right now I don't think I'm any of those now. But maybe I just am unknowingly.
Whenever I quarrel, I always think I'm right(obviously I wouldn't quarrel if I'm in at fault) and I win most of the time. What if they're just giving way to me instead and I was actually wrong? I will never know.
Today I laughed a pretty deal in class. I wasn't laughing because it was that funny. I was just trying to laugh all my problems away. It worked for a few seconds, but once the thought "why am I laughing?" hits me, everything just stops and my life revolves around me for a moment.
After class I went to Cityhall with Val, lic and john(des). Thank you all for going out with me. Thank you for the tongtong stuffs. Thanks for the soup. Thanks for the patience. Thanks for playing RF with me. Thank you for everything else I forgot to thank for.
We went to the arcade to see how people wasted their money's on kiapkiaps, played a little music games here and there.
We had lots of fun on the Gachapon(the tongtong machines?). To get mini versions.
And I bought 3 pieces of mini cakes for all to share.
Then we Marina Bayed and it took 3people about 15minutes to figure out how to fix the little Gachapon! We couldn't solve it initially because I stuck the sticker upside down. Yes, three grownups trying to figure out kids stuff. But now it's 1down, 3more to go.
After we were done I was just looking around and I offered an old man my seat. He declined my offer. Obviously I won't offer again. I don't waste my time unless maybe it's an old lady. Then after lic and john went off the old man sat next to me. I don't know why but I just felt bad. I'd willingly offer if I see anyone who needed the seat, but what can I do if they decline me? And if I just carry on sitting down after they decline, what would people think? 假情假意?
I guess just like every person has the right to be born in this world and given a chance to contribute to society, so should my thoughts. I try to suppress them. I try to ignore them. I try to avoid them. But maybe they're just voicing out to me, calling for me to give them a chance, to listen to them. But just like the majority of society, they'll go no. You're so young, your comments are useless. Is that what I'm doing now too?
Sometimes I don't even recognise myself in the mirror anymore
-nIx- @ [[11:41 PM]]
I know I wronged them. Just after my post I wanted to leave house immediately because it was already 1.10pm. But my dad happened to wake up and offered to send me to school and at the same time to go lunch by himself.
Almost everyday he offers to pick up my mum from work even though he just came back from work/running and is tired, hungry or feeling sticky or stuff.
On the car he was listening to classical and it's not so bad after all. There's this Korean violinist or whatever named Sarah and her playing just awed me, so did the piece aired on radio before hers.
I wonder. Maybe the problem just lies with me. I take everything for granted. I'm spoilt. I'm way too pampered. I love attention. Of course right now I don't think I'm any of those now. But maybe I just am unknowingly.
Whenever I quarrel, I always think I'm right(obviously I wouldn't quarrel if I'm in at fault) and I win most of the time. What if they're just giving way to me instead and I was actually wrong? I will never know.
Today I laughed a pretty deal in class. I wasn't laughing because it was that funny. I was just trying to laugh all my problems away. It worked for a few seconds, but once the thought "why am I laughing?" hits me, everything just stops and my life revolves around me for a moment.
After class I went to Cityhall with Val, lic and john(des). Thank you all for going out with me. Thank you for the tongtong stuffs. Thanks for the soup. Thanks for the patience. Thanks for playing RF with me. Thank you for everything else I forgot to thank for.
We went to the arcade to see how people wasted their money's on kiapkiaps, played a little music games here and there.
We had lots of fun on the Gachapon(the tongtong machines?). To get mini versions.
And I bought 3 pieces of mini cakes for all to share.
Then we Marina Bayed and it took 3people about 15minutes to figure out how to fix the little Gachapon! We couldn't solve it initially because I stuck the sticker upside down. Yes, three grownups trying to figure out kids stuff. But now it's 1down, 3more to go.
After we were done I was just looking around and I offered an old man my seat. He declined my offer. Obviously I won't offer again. I don't waste my time unless maybe it's an old lady. Then after lic and john went off the old man sat next to me. I don't know why but I just felt bad. I'd willingly offer if I see anyone who needed the seat, but what can I do if they decline me? And if I just carry on sitting down after they decline, what would people think? 假情假意?
I guess just like every person has the right to be born in this world and given a chance to contribute to society, so should my thoughts. I try to suppress them. I try to ignore them. I try to avoid them. But maybe they're just voicing out to me, calling for me to give them a chance, to listen to them. But just like the majority of society, they'll go no. You're so young, your comments are useless. Is that what I'm doing now too?
Sometimes I don't even recognise myself in the mirror anymore
-nIx- @ [[11:41 PM]]
